Whole30: Day 30

I lie belly down on our silky comforter, laughing with my husband. He's heroic looking, decked in his army green flight suit. His head rests against his forearms; his eyes grin. We lounge here flirting, trading playful verbal jabs, when it hits me. I'm happy. I'm pure, unadulterated happy, and I feel it more and more as each day’s sun sets. It’s almost inexplicable. Colors are brighter. Textures are more stimulating. I hear more and listen more closely, engage with people, and my words are weighty with truth and love. I rise in the morning brimming with excitement, finally understanding why my dog bounds out of bed and pirouettes around the room even at 5:00 a.m.  

Thirty days ago I was a dull firecracker, exploding and launching in every direction and fizzling out within seconds. I was aimless, burdened with the mundane of everyday life. I just went through the motions with a lack of control over my eating, my job, and relationships. I was depressed. I pitied myself for having sacrificed thirteen years of my life to eating and body image issues. I progressed greatly over the course of 2012, but in December I found myself stuck, stagnant and desperate for purpose.

Then I began the Whole30, and transformation took root. I'll be honest; I didn't think I would make it to the end. Who honestly thinks 30 days of radical change in nutrition can rival thirteen years of old habits? It seemed impossible, but it worked. I followed the guidelines and my health and body evolved. All the claims of greater energy, deeper sleep, improved skin and nails, happier mood, lifted brain fog, fewer headaches; they're all true. I experience them now. 

Healthy habits are like dominos. Flick one in motion, and it begets another and another. As I changed my eating habits, simple tasks, once a nuisance, became routine. I now cook all my meals. I find solace in the rhythmic chopping of vegetables and calm in the sizzle of coconut oil in a skillet. I make my bed every morning, instantly refreshing my mood. I wash my face every night instead of leaving my makeup caked and creased on my skin as I sleep, and I brush and floss religiously. I write every day. I smile. I sing. I dance. I laugh. I see beauty in the mundane I once despised. I burst with exhilaration for the present and anchor to hope for the future. And, well, I just feel like I've got my shit together.

More miraculous is that my eating disorder behaviors diminished significantly. I've only binged three times this entire month; mini binges of mostly coconut flakes, olives, and fruit. Counting calories, worrying over a food’s fat content, and anxiety over dining out seem insignificant now. The negative self-talk, all that garbage Ed spewed, is but a faint whisper thanks in huge part to covering my mirrors and refusing to look at my reflection. I slip on a pair of pants, and I notice the softness of the fabric against my skin instead of instead of the width of my thighs. I appreciate the radiance of my skin instead of targeting the clogged pores. I realize I love my body, and my body wants nothing but to love me back.

A year ago a therapist asked me my definition of healthy. I couldn't process past physical descriptors: vibrant, energetic, toned, smiling. She was looking for more, something deeper, the definition of true health. I now know what that is. Balance of body, mind, and soul and the connection of each to the others. Awareness, presence, self-love and compassion for others define true health because with these you achieve the vibrancy and energy, the centered mind and happy countenance, the courage and discernment to make those choices that lead to an optimal body and mind.

I metamorphosed with the Whole30. I broke open the cocoon, spread my wings, and took off. I found myself, Christan, who is strong, courageous, and capable (even sassy!). How is it that consuming only whole unprocessed foods for a mere month can alter a person's entire life? I don't know, but it happened. The Whole30 was my catalyst for transformation. It will transform you too (or has already if you've been doing it along with me). With a little patience, lots of planning, and an overdose of commitment and determination, you can experience the same benefits that I have through the Whole30. You can change your life. And I will be right here to help you with each step.

Congrats and love to you all.
Christan