Whole30: Day 19

Seriously, why?

I should have accepted when the cashier at Verizon offered the Holiday 2 for $30 deal on wall chargers, but no, I just took one. Why would anyone need more than one? Well, for when you run over the charger with the vacuum and behead it from its twisted coppery veins. That's precisely why you'd need more than one. Lesson learned.

So I was sitting on my couch last night enjoying our free HBO preview and eating a pork chop when I decided, "Chocolate, creamy, smooth, melting , dark chocolate would be so much better than this pork chop. This couch sitting, movie watching experience would just burst to heights unknown if I could have just one square of chocolate." Instead I grabbed an orange because I am GonNA cOmPly aNd ComPLTEte ThIS CRAP, DAMNIT! (Um, sorry, choco rage coming out there.) There's something about a fresh orange that just hits the spot when you've been sick (but not so much when you're craving chocolate) so I ate a second, and then a third. Three oranges. No big deal, right?

It was at this moment I felt my switch flip from mindful, conscious eating to autopilot, "let's binge" eating. In truth it had already switched somewhere in the midst of all those orange wedges, but I didn't notice it until I had swallowed the last one. I've mentioned before that weekends challenge me when it comes to the e.d. ways. Last night could have been triggered by old habit, and I do think that had a lot to do with it. However, I can't discount the sugar overload from the oranges.

Since January 1, I have eaten very little sugar. I put a kiwi and a couple of chunks of pineapple, blueberries, or cherries in to my green smoothie in the morning, but that's all for the day. Roughly about 1/2 a cup of fruit. I know veggies have sugar in them as well, but this girl isn't going to binge on orange peppers and pumpkin squash. So really I've cut out just about all sugar, and it's been fine. I've gone through the anticipated detox stages, and I feel really good right now. But last night showed me that I still need to have my guard up. If oranges can trigger the need to binge, then sugar still has a grip on me. Had I indulged in chocolate last night, it would have turned into a huge binge, one which would have ended with me sick to my stomach and slipping into a food coma, and these three weeks of work thrown out with the garbage.

After the oranges, I ate a can of black olives, a very large bowl of frozen pineapple, cherries, and mango (all that was left in my freezer), a batch of caramelized coconut flakes, and a spoonful of really nasty cashew butter (that was the first time I've eaten nuts of any kind during this Whole30 too). Right now I'm waffling between beating myself up over this "mini" binge or celebrating because 1.) It was minute compared to my normal binges 2.) I binged only on compliant foods 3.) It's the first binge I've had in three weeks (and I used to binge every single week). Hmmm...3 to 1. I think we should celebrate!

I may have to go longer than a Whole30 in order to completely destroy sugar's grasp on me. I may need to stick this out for 45 or 60 days. And that's ok; after these first 30 it should feel immensely easier. If you're 2/3's of the way through too, maybe this weekend is a good time to evaluate where you stand, and if you think you should continue a little longer. You definitely don't have to, but if the little choco demons haven't abandoned camp on your shoulder yet, it's something to consider.

You know, this post was supposed to be about yoga for immunity. I got waaay sidetracked. Fear not! Tomorrow I'll show you how to stimulate your Thymus and ward off the flu.

Have a super Saturday, peeps. Love to you all!