The body speaks

The soles of my sneakers skim the gravel, scuffing my slow pace down the river trail. My legs scissor back and forth, and heat rises from my core. Exhales escape my lips in tiny, visible puffs. I follow Landi's lead through the congregation of naked trees. A cardinal and black bird duo inspect the vacant twig and twine homes nestled in the highest branches. The sky, veiled in a low gray mist, dulls neither the shock of green moss on the river bank nor the turquoise lichen ruffled around the skinny oak trunks. We slide through mud and plod over patches of clover; the gurgle of the river our play list.

Here, my mind quiets for a moment and allows my body to voice that which needs to be spoken. Emotions-- anger, sorrow, shame-- rise to be acknowledged, then quietly fall away. Peace and clarity take root and bud within me. Answers aren't revealed, but the path to follow is lit, and the underbrush is cut.

For a brief two miles I am able to get outside of my head. I bypass the rushing thoughts and just am. I exist. I move through nature, and for the moment that is all there is and all I need. Often this is the solution my body and soul crave, yet it is always my last resort. For me, movement is the key to accessing this solution. A walking meditation, slow run, or languid yin yoga centers my soul and quiets my mind. The organic movement finds my body's foundation and reinforces its structure. I emerge with solace, comforted and connected.

Why am I so resistant to this way of healing even though I know it will work? I think there's a discomfort in the thought of slowing down. Our fast paced, instant gratification society has us going 90 to nothing nearly every moment of our day. Even when lounge on the couch watching TV, most of us are eating, texting, and checking Facebook at the same time. Multi-tasking is encouraged. "On the go" is a requirement for meals. Work bleeds into our off time. Our off time is reigned by "To do" lists. We all want to be healthy and stay in shape, but most of us are so wound up that a leisurely walk or slow, deep yoga won't cut it. Where's the workout in that? We need to burn as many calories as possible, and we've only got one hour to do it so bring on the spin, the kickboxing, the cardioblast fat attack! I'm guilty of this. Even after a life changing 200 hour yoga training course, I would still rather curl dumbbells than flow around on my mat.

When we choose to slow our bodies down for yin yoga or meditation, a walk or slow run, two things can happen. Either our thoughts fail to get the memo and keep running the hamster wheel or they follow suit...and things start to come up. Emotions that we've buried deep into the recesses of our bodies dig their way to the surface. We recall situations that we thought were long behind us and relive the hurt, the guilt, the anger, awkwardness, or even happiness of that moment. I know several yogis who have a love/hate relationship with their mat. It's where all your crap comes back to haunt you but also where you acknowledge, work through, and make peace with that crap too. It's where you find you-- all the good, bad, and ugly of you.

Slowing down and embracing the largo tempo with our bodies will eventually train our minds to do so as well. When that happens we find the solace of stillness. In that stillness your body and soul will speak, and your mind will be ready to listen.

During my quiet jog, I realized I don't want to do a Fitness30. Not right now anyway. Instead I need to focus on meditation and gratitude. I need to train my mind to see all the beauty in life and the silver linings present on even the darkest days. I need to shed the ego that wrecks my attitude, peel back my layers, and quiet my mind, and I need to be constantly conscious and thankful of all the many blessings in my life. So my goal is 5 minutes of meditation each morning and writing down 5 things I'm grateful for each night. Every day for 30 days. You are welcome to join me. When you wake in the morning, simply sit up in your bed, place a pillow under your hips, and sit, with eyes closed, in stillness and silence. Breathe. Acknowledge any thoughts and then let them pass on. Or pray (I almost always start with focus on my breath and somehow end up in prayer). At the end of the day, take a journal and list 5 things you're grateful for. Or post them in the comments of that day's blog. I'd love for you to share them with me.

Today, I am grateful for:

• a precious pup, who gives me stinky kisses, smiles and twirls in mid air at the word "walk", and prances effortlessly down the trail while I huff and puff.
• strong legs and enough lung capacity to keep me moving for 2 miles when I've done nothing physical but teach for the last several weeks.
• a husband who continuously tries to better himself in his career. Some endeavors may scare me, but he distinguishes himself daily, and when the time comes his talents and abilities will serve him well
• nature. Gorgeous, peaceful, bright, breath-taking nature created by God. Such beauty does not just happen, nor does the healing and rejuvenating of the soul it brings.
• the fluffy towel, fresh from the dryer, that I dried my face with this morning. It seriously felt like angel wings were whisping against my cheeks. Ahhhh....

Love to you all.
Christan